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tale 100
fifty-six in Hungary Written by
Rainer: rainer.lehrer@yahoo.com Learn
languages (via Skype): Rainer: + 36 20 549 52 97 or + 36 20 334 79 74 |
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Fifty-six in Hungary Born in nineteen hundred and
twenty-one, now two thousand and one he felt abandoned by his view of the
world, his surroundings, even his grandchildren. Something, he had fought
against all his life, was on the rise again, fascism. Today they wanted to
make him feel guilty for something he had done in fifty-six and would commit
again, namely, to speak out against fascism and racism. The Horthy regime had been a
nightmare for him; his best school friends had been refused admission to the
university. Jews were reported at work and suddenly disappeared. And then
finally, the entry into a senseless war came on the side of a mass murderer.
He himself was sent to the Russian front, where he saw how the people in the
work commandos, mostly Jews or opponents of the regime, were dying like
flies. The Hungarian regular troops did not behave much better towards the
Ukrainians than the Germans. Slavonic people were only subhuman to them, and
raping their wives and daughters was not a sin. Horthy fascism had turned the
Hungarians into animals. He was one of the few who
survived. To prevent himself from being called up again, he went underground.
But the underground one was small. The Hungarians supported their Horthy and
later Szállasi. When the Russians arrived in the country, he found that they
had come not only to rid the world of fascism, but also to take revenge. He
tried to find an excuse for them: "After all, the Hungarians had
attacked them and behaved like animals." Of course he himself realized
that this was not justifiable, but he was convinced that the Russians were
less bad than the Horthy fascists. A closer study of history provided
evidence to this. In the post-war years, he fought
everything that was right-wing, even if he kept asking himself whether it was
right. And then, there was fifty-six and Nagy Imre. A tightrope walk between
Russians and fascists. Nagy had no chance of winning. Many, not all, let the
old voices from the pre-war period be heard on the street after there had
been renewed pogroms against the Jews in various villages and towns in Hungary
between forty-six and forty-nine. The horrors of that nightmare reappeared
before his eyes and he fired, just into the crowd! The fascists shouldn't win
again. Then when Russian tanks appeared, he withdrew. He no longer wanted to
take part in it. He was later suggested for various awards, which he
declined. He had also never spoken to anyone about it because he wasn't proud
of it, but knew that he had done the only right thing. Life went on, he worked, tried,
like everyone else, to be a good family man. His son became very different
from him, he constantly rebelled against the Kádár regime. Sometimes there
was a quarrel between them, later a break. His son moved out and only visited
his mother when the father was away. Two different generations with different
life experiences. He rarely saw his grandson only when his son left him with
his grandmother over the weekend or on vacation. And that's why grandfather
and grandson did not manage to establish a confidential relationship. When the system changed, many shouted
to bring the criminals, as they called them, to justice. Especially those who
had no idea and only wanted to use it for political goals. But again, the
Hungarians hadn’t learned anything from history and let themselves be fooled. And once, his grown-up grandson
came to visit and accused him directly, that was too much for him. The
grandson had forgotten that his father was also a good Kádárist, although he
had spoken differently behind people's backs. The grandfather got up, went
into his garage and repaired something. His grandson took this as a confession.
A few years later, he died and, like all people before they died,
subconsciously talked a lot not understandably. A few years later, the
grandson would say that his grandfather suffered from great remorse. |
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